Flashback-Life on a farm can be gross
Flashback time. I havent done one of these in a while. This one just popped back into my head after reading a thread about childbirth on gunsnet.
About age 13 or 14 i was by myself on the farm, mom and dad having decided to spend the evening in town at a hymn sing. Its calving time and i have a couple hiefers ready to pop so im checking them every two hours or so. About 6 PM one of them goes into labor and i put her in the head gate and get set up to pull the calf. Except its backwards. No go. Then the cow decides to quit pushing and lay down. And promptly deceided to die.
Ordinarily a heifer keeling over is no big deal. The exception being when they have a live calf worth about 750 bucks in the birth canal. Backwards.
The only large scale cutting implement i had withing running distance was a chainsaw. Yes, a chainsaw. I wont go into the gory details of the operation but i will say i was glad to have the foresight to put on goggles and a dust mask before i started. I had the calf out, unharmed and alive in about 60 seconds.
Dad and mom came home to the sight of me cleaning the remnants out the barn with a fire hose. The chainsaw was a total loss and mom refused to let me in the house until i shaved my head under the garden hydrant. I cant say as i blamed her.
About age 13 or 14 i was by myself on the farm, mom and dad having decided to spend the evening in town at a hymn sing. Its calving time and i have a couple hiefers ready to pop so im checking them every two hours or so. About 6 PM one of them goes into labor and i put her in the head gate and get set up to pull the calf. Except its backwards. No go. Then the cow decides to quit pushing and lay down. And promptly deceided to die.
Ordinarily a heifer keeling over is no big deal. The exception being when they have a live calf worth about 750 bucks in the birth canal. Backwards.
The only large scale cutting implement i had withing running distance was a chainsaw. Yes, a chainsaw. I wont go into the gory details of the operation but i will say i was glad to have the foresight to put on goggles and a dust mask before i started. I had the calf out, unharmed and alive in about 60 seconds.
Dad and mom came home to the sight of me cleaning the remnants out the barn with a fire hose. The chainsaw was a total loss and mom refused to let me in the house until i shaved my head under the garden hydrant. I cant say as i blamed her.
posted by Silicon Wolverine at 6:06 PM
1 Comments:
All my gross farm stories pale against that one. No, worse, they don't come close. lol
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